Metmet Aportadera
Philippine Science High School-Western Visayas (2011)
University of Sto. Tomas
18
I'm really not sure exactly who I am.
But whoever is reading this has access to my innermost thoughts.
So I'll let them decide.
Sony Vaio Duo
Sony Xperia Z
Machiavelli Chocolatier Chocolates
Pandora Charms
A Trip to Paris
New Accomodations
Serenitea Gift Certificates
Bizu, Cafe Macaron, or TWG Macaroons
This is actually kinda a pointless blog post. I feel like I want to say something but don't have something to say... So I'll just type meaningless things here. Whatever gets into my head. Oh yeah, Gilbert finally opened a Facebook account sometime late in the schoolyear. The wierd thing is, I'm taking him for granted again. He's just so ignore-able. When he wasn't there to not pay attention to, I noticed. But now that he's attempting contact, it's like, I don't care anymore. Honestly, how can some idiot leave his friends without saying goodbye then act like nothing's changed?!? Sheesh... Anyway, what else can I write about? Does anyone else LOVE Gossip Girl? I've been meaning to buy the DVD's since I first watched an episode but it's like highway robbery here in the Philippines! Php999 for the first season and Php2499 for the second. I still got the DVD's, of course, but I bought them in the US. There, both season sell for only $17.98 each. The first thing I did after getting home (other than cry and visit Blinks grave) was have a Gossip Girl marathon. I watched all the episodes (plus deleted scenes, music videos, and other bonus features) back-to-back. It helped with getting over Blink. Distraction always does. And if the distraction is Chair, well, all the better. Okay, two paragraphs! There really isn't much else I can think of to write here but I think the next time I update will be about Gyakuten Saiban. I love those games... I even crushed on one of the characters, despite the being animated and not having a voice (except for Objection! and Hold it!). :)) I know it sounds really geeky but I don't care, the games rock! I'll do some background on the games first before posting about it though, so I'll probably update anytime from tomorrow to Saturday.
Those of you who have known me since forever (or at least 5th Grade) would remember the time I was extremely depressed and moody little more than a week from my birthday. Those who have really good memories know it wasn't for fear of aging. It was because a certain Japanese Spitz close to my heart passed away. Chubby died on July 3, 2005. Shortly after that, you may (or may not) remember my being absent for a few days. When I got back, I was my old self again. Or so everyone thought. That event scarred me for life. Chubby was the sweetest dog ever. I remember giving her a bath for the first time. During the five minutes the shampoo had to stay on, she crawled into my lap and started licking me. The first time I cleaned my room (and messed it up) she'd been there. I let her on the bed and let her use one of my pillows at night. She never pee'd (Peeed? Pee-ed?) on my stuff. (She had natural toilet training instincts.) I nearly died (and wanted to) that Monday I found out she was dead. And my classmate's immature insensitivity didn't help the grief either. Well, that scar was recently opened. When my dad picked us up from the airport last May 6, I found out Blink had gotten into a fight with one of the other dogs the night before and they found him dead that morning. You had no idea how much I wished I could go back in time and reschedule my flight so I could have seen my Blinky one last time or maybe even save him, stop everything from happening. But I couldn't. And now the only things I have left of him are his collar, leash, vaccination records and favorite chew toy. What makes me feel kinda bad is when my Lolo died on Feb. 20 last year, I didn't feel nearly as stricken as when Chubby or Blink died. Maybe cuz I kinda prayed for it to happen. Before you think the worst of me, I beg you to please reserve judgement, at least until you finish reading this post. Then, you have my permission to think of me as the most horrrible person who ever lived (other than, like, Hitler and, you know, other power-obssessed, corrupt, dishonest world leaders and certain presidential candidates whose names I choose to withdraw.) My Lolo was first admitted to Mission Hospital in December. He stayed there so long, I can't remember when he got admitted, discharged, and re-admitted. (Although I think he got readmitted on December 28.) Something in his brain had happened. I didn't fully understand what though. He was basically kinda in a coma. I actually had to stay with him for a whole day when we fired one of our maids because she toured the city instead of keep watch in the hospital room. I remember having to go out into the hallway for air when the nurses changed his diaper... Anyway, his condition worsened and they had to put a tube down his throat so he could breath and there was this thing stuck to his head and I just couldn't take looking at him anymore and I was thinking, 'If he ever wakes up, I wonder how bad those things are gonna hurt. Will he be able to live normally again? Or will he be stuck to the oxygen and IV wherever he goes?'. That night I prayed to God. 'God, if your will is for Lolo Dad to die, please just let him die soon. If the quality of his life won't be worth living for, please just take him already.' I woke up in the middle of the night to my Mom answering the telephone and hearing something about cardiac arrest. I drifted back to sleep after that. The next morning, I was really surprised when they were like arranging funeral stuff. They asked me if I knew what happened. I told them I overheard them talking about the heart attack. They asked me if I had enough black clothes. (Ok, maybe that part was me asking myself.) Then I realized he had died because of that cardiac arrest and I was, like, 'Ohmigosh, I might have killed my grandfather.' So yeah, maybe I wasn't so sad because, I realized, it was already his time and God wanted him to come back home. Dogs, however, I'm still don't know whether or not they have souls. So I might not see them in Heaven. So I tried to comfort myself praying and begging God to let animals have souls. It didn't help that the in-flight movie I had watched days ago was Hachiko: A Dog's Story. If you haven't watched it, you really should. Even if you aren't a dog person, I guarantee you'll cry and probably be one by the end. I was crying from the beginning just knowing what was gonna happen with Hachi (from the summary & trailer). I was bawling by the end of the movie. (It has a happy ending though.) Well, the point is, I think that may have been God's way of telling me that dogs do have souls. That and while I was praying while cleaning my room, I found book and read this quote: "You think dogs will not be in heaven? I tell you, they will be there long before any of us." -Robert Louis Stevenson
